Random Flux

You often hear about how tough it is to get good information from software support desks. What you don’t so often hear is how tough it is for software support staff to understand the mails that they get from some users. Many users write clear and comprehensible mails to support, but there are others.

In addition to my other work I often have to answer questions in technical support mails from users of a professional authoring system for technical writers. Before I started doing this I thought that it would be relatively easy — after all, I thought, they’re writers, I’ll only be getting well-written, comprehensible questions. Don’t you believe it — the Dilbert cartoons on software documentation are not only close to the truth, they are actually the opposite of an exaggeration. When I read some of the questions these “help authors” and “technical writers” send in I often wonder how they manage to tie their shoelaces in the morning, let alone produce comprehensible documentation.

So let me give you a few little tips that may help you to be a little more successful when you write an email to a support desk:

• Don’t write “hlp plz!” in the subject line.
  Translation of this and anything else like it: “I am an illiterate moron. I don’t even have enough sense to include a reference to my problem in the subject line. Communicating with me will be an exercise in frustration. Please ignore me.” Write complete sentences and use real words. Take the trouble to spell correctly and the support staff may actually take you seriously.
• Support workers are not clairvoyants.
  What sort of response do you think you are going to get if you write something like, “The function X is not working properly. What can I do?”?? My instinct when I get questions like this is to reply, “Maybe you should go back to school and get an education.” You have a brain. Use it. Take the time to describe your problem and we’ll take the time to provide a solution.
• Insulting people is not a good way to get them to help you.
  This one should be obvious but it clearly isn’t. You’d by amazed how many support requests begin with a flood of abuse and insults. How would you respond when you get a mail like this? Even if the product you are writing in about is a complete piece of shit and deserves your abuse, if you actually want help then pissing on the support staff before they’ve even had a chance to respond is not a good way to get them to feel sympathetic towards you. If the product is bad they will almost certainly be just as frustrated with it as you are — and the the support staff are not responsible for the quality of the product.
• Don’t expect support workers to join you in criticizing products.
  If a product is really a piece of shit the support worker is just as aware of it as you are. But don’t expect them to say that, it’s a complete waste of time for both them and you. They aren’t allowed to and it would be disloyal to their employers to do so. Concentrate on the problem you have and you are much more likely to get results.
• The customer is not always right. Don’t try to hide your mistakes.
  If you did something that you know may have contributed to the mistake, for Pete’s sake ADMIT it! If you don’t you and the support worker are just wasting time. If they get to the bottom of the problem they will eventually figure out that you are lying to them and your chances of getting good support next time will be much lower.